Bets and Pieces

Do you remember the film: Trains, Planes & Automobiles?

It must have been ten years since I last watched it, sadly never at the cinema on a big screen. Fast forward to now and my recently brother invited me to a viewing at the Bull & Swan public house in Stamford. They had a room out the back looking very festive with artificial Christmas trees, fairy lights and even fake fur on the wooden seats and a tartan blankets to put over your knees. Sitting there with a bottle of Rutland cider, triple cooked chips and a side of macaroni cheese I awaited the start of this classic film at 7pm.

Released in 1987, this American comedy is still one of my favourites. Staring John Candy and Steven Martin, it follows the journey of forlorn travellers Del Griffith and Neal Page trying to get back home for Thanksgiving.

The story is very much about identity, acrimony, tolerance and ultimately love. Together, even though at first they didn’t realise it, they needed each other to get through the rough times which later made them smile, laugh and appreciate each other.

The most poignant moment of the film for me is when after an argument Del Griffith’s says: ‘I like me!’

He reminded me of my friend Jerry Banks.

Being a horse racing bloggers, I had known the Lowestoft professional gambler via emails but it wasn’t until a good few years later we met for a day’s racing at Great Yarmouth. Thankfully, our friendship is based on a mutual interest and a respect for each other. There are many things that he knows about horse racing and gambling which I don’t and visa-versa. We’ve had many good days out which usually follow a similar pattern: A pint or two in the Troll Cart, head to the track for a few more drinks and a bet, followed by a meal in the Tandoori Savoy Indian.

It’s a good time had by all.

In fact, it has become a day for family and friends.

Gambling has always suffered from a stigma which depicts people as if on the slippery slope of life, without sense, morals or any standing. However, this is a stereotype which, if anything, holds only a grain of truth, a blemish on the people who enjoy their subject matter and like a bet. It is all too easy to miss the truth behind so many friendships that all start somewhere and often lead to a journey that captures the imagination and adds wholeheartedly to your life.

The sum is often greater than its parts.

Jerry has travelled by train, plane and automobile when heading to Santa Anita, California to watch the Derby. He went with friends. I wonder if any of them are similar to Del Griffith or Neal Page.

My cousin, Danny, a gambling man, also reminds me of John Candy, the kind of person who can talk to anyone, have a smile and laugh and enjoy all occasions.

God Bless the Del Griffith’s of this world.

I often ask this question: ‘Who inspired you to bet?’

I guess I should start with my own answer to this question. It was my Dad. He loved to have a bet at the weekend and went to the Eastern Festival at Great Yarmouth every September. It always coincided with our family holidays. We stayed at Caister-on-sea in a caravan. It was a lovely time where we all enjoyed ourselves.

Perhaps if Dad hadn’t enjoyed a bet we wouldn’t have been interested in horse racing or gambling. We may never have considered going to Great Yarmouth.

We are an interaction of nature and nurture.

I don’t regret my nurturing to be a gambler. I have freewill to bet or not. However, I am sure there are many people in life who regret being brought up in a gambling environment if they have become addicted to gambling or it damaged or destroyed their life.

Two of my cousins, who we go racing with and venture to the casino, were influenced by their Dad who enjoyed a bet and they had greyhounds which ran at the local track. I’m not sure if they would say gambling was a blessing or a curse. I’m pretty sure it is the former or the lesser of two evils.

My gambling has always been secondary to learning. By that I mean, I have always been interested in the pursuit of knowledge about my given niche of horse racing which is two-year-old thoroughbreds. At least with something skill-based there is reason why you can possibly win rather than fixed odds which, basically, mean the longer you play the more money you lose, such as the lottery, roulette, blackjack & slots.

To this day we still venture to the Eastern Festival at Great Yarmouth. It is a Merry Pilgrimage in memory of my late father.

For me, I was inspired by my Dad.

Who inspired you to bet and what impact did it have on your life?

I don’t have a tattoo.

Although I’m not against having one. In fact, getting an ‘everlasting job stopper’ has become even more popular in recent years.

Who doesn’t love a bit of ink?

If you are a gambler or want to take on the persona of a man who loves a bet you may want to get a tattoo or lots of them. I’ve heard they can become addictive. So once I get the bug (or the ink) I’ll probably cover last inch of my body. Head to toe. It’s ideal to cover up an ex girlfriend’s name and look a little more fashionable.

I wonder how much that will cost?

But which gambler tattoos are most popular?

1) Playing Cards: who doesn’t love the classic tattoo of tattoos the ace of spades on an arm, leg or inside of the lip. What about the king of hearts? Winning hand in poker (not two pair).

2) Dice: Snake eye. Yes, that’s two dice with the number one rather than a cobra around your neck. The classic casino dice tattoo. Craps. No, it’s a great idea.

3) Casino Chips: With many eye-catching designs you will look the man about town (Monte Carlo) with those £5K chips on your lower arms, shirt sleeves rolled up and fake Rolex watch setting the scene.

4) Slot Machines: Those three reels with the classic cherries or sevens. How can’t you feel like a winner?

5) Roulette Wheel: As long as your favourite number isn’t 37 you will be a high roller when it comes to choosing your number, black, red or green (if you are going from hero to zero).

6) Poker Symbols: The deck of cards, or full house. Stack of chips on the flop. You can even have a picture of Stu Ungar if you have a penchant for blue-lensed sunglasses.

7) Lucky Number 7: If you ever need a lucky number then it has to be 7. Three sixes just doesn’t do it for me but whatever sinks your ship. Did you know people associated with this number are said to insightful, intuitive, introspective, intellectual and wise. It’s my favourite number.

As a tattoo virgin I’ve been inspired to get some gambling ink. I would suggest you pay more than less for a gifted artist rather than looking at a dog’s dinner for the rest of your life.

By its very nature professional gambling is a mysterious business.

Unsurprisingly, few gamblers are interested in revealing their secret to success. How are they different to the everyday punter and show a profit? Think back to the likes of modern-day pro gambler Patrick Veitch who was reputed to have won £10M in less than ten years. In fact, he had years where he won £2M+.

Something tells me he never bet on the outcome of a photo finish.

Year’s ago, I read Alex Bird’s book Life and Secrets of a Professional Punter published by Queen Anne Press in 1985.

This publication covered his years of gambling from 1946 – 1985.

Bird was a significant figure in the betting ring and very professional. His book details many stories of Grand National ante-post punts and even recounted being visited by the taxman to verify his income was truly from gambling. Bird showed his a ledger of every bet. It was accepted as fact.

However, there has always been one aspect of Alex Bird’s gambling success which just didn’t make any sense to me and made me question his ability to outwit the bookmakers. You may have questioned this ‘fact’ too.

It relates to his profitable strategy of betting on photo-finishes. As a gambler in this modern era, I’ve seem hundreds of photo-finishes on live streaming. The action stops with the horses on the line. It’s a photo-finish but who has won? Even when there is a still of the photo they are often impossible to judge. You only have to watch the betting on the exchanges to see a horse which is odds on to win is often beaten.

So how was it possible for Alex Bird to amazingly bet and win on the outcome of 500 photo finishes in a row?

Something just doesn’t ring true.

Bird must have had a bionic eye akin to the Six Million Dollar Man. Perhaps he was in fact the British version of Steve Austin, Six Million Pound Man. Bird was said to have stood at a certain angle to the finishing line, closed one eye, (said a prayer) and simply found the winner. By all accounts it was a never ending run of winners.

How or why bookmakers would be interesting in taking the bets from someone who simply never lost, I don’t know. I guess that bionic eye put them in some kind of hypnotic trance. Or he dazzled them with a highly polished spoon from Uri Geller’s draw.

Yes, it was a bent spoon.

Perhaps he spread the bets around so no one twigged that his bionic eye could spot the difference between a pixel or two even before pixels had been invented.

I like to think the best of people but how could someone pick the winner of 500 photo-finishes at a crowded racecourse? I doubt anyone would have an 80% strike rate looking at stills today given an hour or so to make a decision let alone at a racecourse with all its distractions.

Well, it doesn’t come as a surprise to learn that some people have questioned his success by saying he was actually given the nod before the stewards’ announcement.

I have no idea whether this is true or not.

However, if something sounds too good to be true it probably is.

I imagine instead of Bird looking at the finishing line, he was more likely looking in a different direction altogether.

Alex Bird died in December 1991.